


Yes, she gets her hair lasered off her body and yes, she has a friend named Gandalf, who happens to be a wizard." - Stan Yes, she is heavier than most of her pictures show her to be. "There have been malicious rumors started at this elementary school that my beautiful fiancée is a Hobbit.

"Without evil there could be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometimes." - Satan They wanna save Earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad." - Cartman "Cartman, you butt pipe! This is the time of year you're supposed to share!" - Stan "Let's hear it for Cartman's big fat ass!" - Pip "Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals, I'm living proof. And if you don't wanna root for your team, then you should get the hell out of the stadium." - Stan "America may have some problems, but it's our home, our team. "You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks." - Chef "You're all fake and stuck up, and none of you have the courage to tell Jimmy his jokes aren't funny! The only kid here with a sense of dignity is Kenny, and the rest of you have heads up your butts!" - Butter You can't slim down bones, stupid." - Cartman "I can't lose weight, Butters, because I'm not fat, I'm big-boned. "Why? How could you do this? There are people starving in Alabama! And you give Cartman a million dollars?!" - Kyle "Well then don’t buy into this fad, Kyle. "I just realized that there’s a lot of painful times in life so I better learn to deal with it the right way." - Stan "Well I'm sorry Wendy, but I just don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die!" - Mr. "Ay! Your holding up the goddamn lunch line!" - Cartman "Didn't break any rules! Good job teaching our children that's all that matters!" - Stephen "Okay, that does it! Now listen! Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass?! I'm sick of it! It's completely immature!" - Cartman If you rub his helmet he spits in your eye." - Cartman "You don't even know anything about Christianity!" - Stan If you pandas are from mountainous areas of China and Tibet, how come you only eat bamboo which is prone to grow in dryer, more arid regions?" - Skeeter
